Photo: Composite by VICE Staff
Kiss the Cook apron? Check. New Balances? Donned, and tied tightly. Grill brush multi-tool? Duh. If this Sunday scene sounds familiar, you probably have a food dad. A noble, much-appreciated creature, the food dad is often observed participating in fascinating rituals to establish pack dominance when congregating with other food dads, including—but not limited to—worrying that Bob is going to overcook the steak, commenting on what he calls an “interesting choice” of seasoning, and making the same sausage joke three to four times over the course of a single gathering.
Unfortunately, many of the food dad’s habits are yet to be fully understood, (see: staring deeply into searing meats for extended periods of time) and much more work needs to be done on the subject if we’re to have a rounded, nuanced understanding of the life form.
Thankfully, though, your fearless VICE editors have done